>This was posted by Craig Groeschel at http://swerve.lifechurch.tv, my reaction is after it

Why do some people go to small churches? Why do others go to large churches?

This is certainly an oversimplification, but track with me.

People tend to stay at small churches because they are:

1) Needed

Each week, someone is counting on them to pass out the red attendance folders, vacuum the floor, fill the communion cups, or help organize the choir robes. They are needed.

2) Known

People love small churches because they are known. If they have a toenail operation, someone knows. If they miss church, someone calls. If their pet cat gets hit by a car, someone cares. They love being known.

All things equal, why do people go to large churches? The answers vary widely:

* The church has a good Mother’s Day Out.
* The videos are cool.
* The church has great music.
* The junior high pastor pays attention to my kid.
* They have a class for widows.
* They have a class for addicts.
* They have a class for everything including annoying people.

People have tons of reasons to go to large churches.

But why do they leave? Typically because they don’t feel:

1) Needed

The paid staff does most everything. The professional band is too good for most. The yard is mowed by a company. The daycare workers are paid. If there is no place for me to use my gifts, I just might leave.

2) Known

If a person misses church and no one calls, it hurts. If someone is in pain and no one knows, again, not good. One can be in a crowded church building and still feel all alone.

What can we do to help people become needed and known no matter what the size of the church?

(End Original Post)

—

Personally, I think that if a church “makes” someone feel needed or known it won’t stick.

I think that both being needed and known are results from what individuals do inside a church. Not what a church does for individuals.

Jenny and I left a church where we were both well known, and where we were needed. It was a “smaller” church by comparison, 200-300 on a Sunday. Some wouldn’t call that small, but compared to 3600-4000 on a weekend, it is.

Anyway, since coming to NPC we haven’t had goals in mind of being needed or known…but I think that even in less than a year, we have already become both of those.

Instead, I had goals of a) Finding a need & filling it and b) Being faithful to God

In finding and filling a need, you will in turn become needed.
In being faithful to God through your actions and intentions, you’ll become and feel known.

There are always needs. For me, it didn’t take long to find one I could fit into…and I keep finding more:

• Playing in the band
• Helping with the lights or other technical elements
• Leading connect groups
• Working with Second Saturday
• Helping with Family Theatre
• Helping with NPCU

There will always be needs. There will always be holes to fill with your own God given talents and gifts. It’s up to you to find them and fill them.

Likewise, each of us is called to be faithful in unique ways. God has given us all unique personalities, talents, mindsets, skills and gifts. He has put specific passions in our lives that we will find great fulfillment in if we engage in them. By being faithful to his callings and urgings, we will not only find ourselves more known by others, but more importantly we will realize we are known by God.

I’ve been working on faithfulness in specific ways as well. It usually involves offering suggestions, improvements, ideas, or just being willing and attempting to make the lives of those responsible for the church ‘that’ much easier.

Faithfulness in this way isn’t necessarily something you’ll see on a Volunteer Opportunities card. It’s much more personal than that. It’s listening to what God wants you to do in certain situations and then actually doing it.

But relationships that have come from (and continue to grow from) my attempts at faithfulness have made me known. And have certainly made me feel more known, even though it’s just a reward and not a goal.

Obviously what I listed isn’t a cookie cutter solution.

But we can all find needs.
God is talking to each of us.

What needs can you fill?
How is he asking you to be faithful?

Figure that out, and then go and do them!

>

Apparently, the latest thing in “Debasing The Institutions You Pretend To Hold Dear In Order To Suggest That President Barack Obama Should Be Murdered Without Actually Coming Right Out And Saying So” goes by a shorter name: Psalm 109:8.

This is on bumper stickers, t-shirts, teddy bears, etc etc etc.

Here is a clip from the Rachel Maddow show that was on a week ago. I happened to see it as I was flipping through because I recognized Frank Schaeffer. Jenny was very offended and angered by the interview…because it’s disturbing.

Frank Schaeffer pretty much says everything about this that I would. So I’ll let him do it. Watch the clip.

As he says, this needs to be denounced. It’s not just who’s doing it. It’s about who is not speaking out against it as well.

Enough is enough.

If you’re on facebook, you can’t see the video. Come see my blog entry instead: http://dannyjbixby.blogspot.com/2009/11/psalm-1098.html
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Psalm 109

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 O God, whom I praise,
do not remain silent,

2 for wicked and deceitful men
have opened their mouths against me;
they have spoken against me with lying tongues.

3 With words of hatred they surround me;
they attack me without cause.

4 In return for my friendship they accuse me,
but I am a man of prayer.

5 They repay me evil for good,
and hatred for my friendship.

6 Appoint an evil man to oppose him;
let an accuser stand at his right hand.

7 When he is tried, let him be found guilty,
and may his prayers condemn him.

8 May his days be few;
may another take his place of leadership.

9 May his children be fatherless
and his wife a widow.

10 May his children be wandering beggars;
may they be driven from their ruined homes.

11 May a creditor seize all he has;
may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor.

12 May no one extend kindness to him
or take pity on his fatherless children.

13 May his descendants be cut off,
their names blotted out from the next generation.

14 May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the Lord;
may the sin of his mother never be blotted out.

15 May their sins always remain before the Lord,
that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth.

16 For he never thought of doing a kindness,
but hounded to death the poor
and the needy and the brokenhearted.

17 He loved to pronounce a curse—
may it come on him;
he found no pleasure in blessing—
may it be far from him.

18 He wore cursing as his garment;
it entered into his body like water,
into his bones like oil.

19 May it be like a cloak wrapped about him,
like a belt tied forever around him.

20 May this be the Lord’s payment to my accusers,
to those who speak evil of me.

21 But you, O Sovereign Lord,
deal well with me for your name’s sake;
out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.

22 For I am poor and needy,
and my heart is wounded within me.

23 I fade away like an evening shadow;
I am shaken off like a locust.

24 My knees give way from fasting;
my body is thin and gaunt.

25 I am an object of scorn to my accusers;
when they see me, they shake their heads.

26 Help me, O Lord my God;
save me in accordance with your love.

27 Let them know that it is your hand,
that you, O Lord, have done it.

28 They may curse, but you will bless;
when they attack they will be put to shame,
but your servant will rejoice.

29 My accusers will be clothed with disgrace
and wrapped in shame as in a cloak.

30 With my mouth I will greatly extol the Lord;
in the great throng I will praise him.

31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy one,
to save his life from those who condemn him.

>

I’m no leadership expert.

That’s not to say I’m ignorant. I read plenty of books about it from “experts.” That is, the people whom others say are the experts.

They’re big fans of lists. Tips, tricks, principles, guidelines, etc of ‘leadership.’ Things that if you replicate, you’ll come up with success. It’s also helpful if the items on this list start with the same letter, G or L for instance. If there’s anything that screams “I know what I’m talking about!!” it’s alliteration.

I don’t have exhaustive or pithy lists about leadership stored away in my brain-hole, ready & at the whim. I do enjoy alliteration as much as the next guy…but it’s a hassle to implement sometimes.

But what I do know, is that I can spot good leadership when I see it. And I think anyone can. Because leadership, either good or bad, is immediately visual.

It’s incredibly easy to see when someone is a strong leader. You can see them take responsibility for a less than ideal situation. You can see them calm the squabbling between team members by designating himself as the channel of communication that everyone goes through. You can watch them inspire people to perform greatly, and you become inspired as well. The people who work with and under them are relaxed about the minutiae of their job, because they are informed, trained and prepared to excel in it and they can focus on the bigger picture.

These things are easy to see, they are visual, when done right they’re amazing.

If it’s easy to see when someone is a strong leader, it’s even easier to see when someone is in a position of leadership who is a poor leader.

You can watch the lines of communication break down around them and even through them. You can see how the members of their team are demoralized, disenfranchised and sometimes outright given the tools for failure instead of success. The people on this team are ill-prepared. And so they’re nervous about the little things, nervous that it’ll not go right or that they’ll be unable to handle it if something goes wrong….because they’re unable….because they’re unprepared. The tension and frustration level is high, and all the creative energy gets poured out onto the “how” that there is no energy left to deal with the “why” or expand the project further into new areas of “what.”

The problems here are also visual, even outsiders can quickly see that there is a problem. They may not be able to assess it, but they know it’s there.

I like that penguin picture up top. Because Mary Poppins is one of my favorite Disney movies, and the penguin waiters are hilarious? Yes. But also because no matter whether the leader is capable or incapable of leading, they do make a trail. And that trail is followed.

If that trail is full of poor communication, scattered thoughts/plans, the inability to look ahead, lack of training, and a constant focus on ‘how,’ then those following the path will look just as disastrous in their attempts to follow it as the person who laid it out in the first place. Not only will they end up frustrated and demoralized, but they’ll learn what they saw and use it in the future.

And to be honest, nobody wants to be on that twisted trail in the first place. Not even the one out in front.

>

Proverbs 24:16 for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again

Yes, that verse is hideously out of context.

Yes, I’m OK with it.

This verse hit me a little bit ago while I was doing some research for another topic.

It hits me because I want to be the righteous man.

But I don’t want to fall. Forget falling seven times (now is not the post for Biblical numerology), I don’t even want to fall once.

I doubt many of us do.

We think being righteous means that we won’t fall. That we won’t mess up. That we’ll have it all figured out.

That somehow we’ll be able to hear perfectly from God and follow his will in everything, all the time. That we think things will go easily for us.

But then something happens.

And our faith gets shaken. Or we lose our previously held worldview because it just doesn’t match up with the reality we experience. Or we question what we thought was God’s will for our life and wonder how we got it wrong. Or wonder if we had it right and are now getting it wrong.

Or maybe we just do something dumb. A fight, an argument, a bitter discussion about something that didn’t matter but we needed to prove ourselves right, so we willingly damaged a relationship with someone just to feel intellectually or morally superior.

Or we messed up. We knew the right choice, and we didn’t do it. We went and did that same thing that we’ve struggled with, and have ‘fallen for’ so many times before. Each time saying it won’t happen again, and it will be different in the future, and it isn’t.

Or perhaps through our inaction, we see what has happened to someone else. Not necessarily something dramatic and drastic, but the realization of a lapsed relationship. Seeing people whom you used to be close to, and through time, circumstance, or attrition just no longer are. And you see them struggling. And you kick yourself for not being there for them to help them stand back up when they needed it. But for some reason, you still do little about it now…

We see ourselves falling down constantly.

I do.

And I want so very much to stop. I want to stand firm. I want to be stronger. I want to be righteous.

But being righteous has nothing to do with never falling.

It has everything to do with getting back up.

>We often find ourselves asking God for some sort of sign, don’t we? By we, I mean me. I ask God for signs. I ask him to let me know if a path I am going down is right, if my desires are in line with his will, if my decisions are just, what I should do, etc.  I want to know that what I am doing is based on his will as opposed to my own desires.

I think that God is in the business of giving signs. Lots of them. But very often, they show up as tests. At least, unconventional tests.

Just think about it, when a sign is given in the Bible, often times there is wide room given to the person who is receiving the sign what they are to do with it. The sign is received after a quick test of that person’s character in some fashion.

For example:

Moses and the burning bush. Exodus 3. Moses sees a burning bush. Hmm, that bush is on fire. But instead of going about his business, he looks at it closely enough to see that it’s burning, but not being burnt. At that point he could have still just turned away and went back to the sheep, but it is said that he went in closer to see the strange sight. God’s commands to Moses were given once Moses got closer to the bush. God could have easily just spoken directly to Moses without the theatrical sign. But what if the sign was used as a test to see how Moses would react? To see if Moses would explore this strange sight, and be inquisitive, or if he’d just go back to his duties while being content in the daily grind of a shepherd.

Or another

Elijah on the mountain. 1 Kings 19. Elijah’s out whining to God on the mountain of Horeb, “Oh, your people have rejected your covenant and killed all your prophets. But I’m zealous for the Lord, I’m the only one left and now they’re coming after me.” Whiner. So God tells him to go stand in the presence of the Lord on the mountain. This is the passage that has the earthquake, a powerful wind, and a huge fire and we learn that God is in the “gentle whisper” or the “still small voice” or the “noiseless noise” that comes after all these big events. And where we take the lesson to look for God in the silences, to be quiet, etc etc. Elijah wasn’t quiet. He was whining. A lot. But God gave him the sign anyway. God saw what he was made of by breaking the mountain with a strong wind, shaking it with an earthquake and burning it with fire. At any time Elijah could have said, “OK, screw this noise, God this is dumb.” But he didn’t. He stuck it out to get his word from God and went through it. God tested his patience and Elijah witnessed his sign.

Fine, Christians don’t like OT references, it only counts if it comes sometime after Malachi, so let’s go to Paul.

Paul. You know…Paul. Acts 9. So Paul is off to go waterboard some Christians, it’s his thing, and as he’s headed towards Damascus there is a light from heaven and a voice. This is Paul’s big conversion, but it’s not just about Paul. Verses 10-19 deal with a disciple named Ananias. He also gets a vision from God…except this one he doesn’t like. God tells him to go seek out Saul of Tarsus (you know…Paul). Ananias says no thank you. He knows what Saul is up to. Saul goes around having Christians tortured and killed. It’s his job. He’s literally paid to do it. He’s Saul the bounty hunter. Ananias does not believe the vision. He says back to God, “Um you know he’s going to arrest me if I do this, right? Are you sure?” He doesn’t trust the sign. But God persists. And Ananias goes through with it…which is good, you know, for us. Ananias did not have to listen to God. He did not have to believe this sign/vision he received. He could have easily “failed” the test because the vision contradicted what he knew about Saul. Ananias could have quite easily done anything other than go to the house where Saul was hanging out being all blind. But he didn’t. He followed through, proved his own faithfulness in the process, and helped to fulfill God’s plan for Paul and through him just about everyone who ever heard about the Gospel who isn’t Jewish.

This happens over and over again in scriptures, these are just the few that have been rolling around in my head today. Constantly when people are given signs, it doesn’t look to them so much as a sign. Sure, in retrospect they (or we) can look back at it and say, “Oh, that was obviously a sign from God!!” But we can only say that from our viewpoint now.

At the time, the signs didn’t look awesome. They were unknown, seemed like idiocy, or just downright suicidal. But they were signs, words and visions. Only when the person whom they were given to passed the test of proving their character or faithfulness was the actual sign then understood.

Of course, this begs the question: what tests am I going through (or avoiding) that are actually the signs I pray for?

How is God asking me to show what I am made of so I can really understand the prophecy, sign or vision that he wants to give me?

How is he asking you?

>

The Mentoring Project – Elephant Musth Cycle from The Mentoring Project on Vimeo.

In America, over 33% of children are raised in a single parent household, and climbing yearly. In the African American community, that number jumps to over 50% (this number has doubled in a mere 30 years).

• 84% of single-parent households are single-mother households.
• Children who grow up without a father are 5x more likely to live in poverty and commit crime as adults.
• They are 9x more likely to drop out of school.
• They are 20x (twenty times!) more likely to end up in prison.
• They are more likely to have behavioral problems, run away from home, or become teenage parents. You can easily see how the cycle propagates itself.

Differing between correlation and causation is tricky. As in, these numbers are related, but does one truly cause the other?

Of single parent households:

• 81% are gainfully employed
• 75% live ABOVE the poverty line
• 69% do NOT receive public assistance

Single parent households are not so drastically different from “normal” family structures economically.

It is not so hard to believe that just maybe the simple lack of having a male role model/father figure in the life of the child is causing that huge of a difference emotionally, developmentally and spiritually.

>I’ve come to a bit of a troubling problem the past few weeks. I feel that I have mostly forgotten how to learn.

I don’t mean that I think I know everything, or a lot, or that there are things that I do not know. That would be absurd. What I mean is that I seem to be having a difficult time retaining and recalling new information.

I’ve been reading a lot more in the past 7-8 months. And I’ve easily read more books in the past 2 months than I have in the past 5 years…..not counting this calendar year.

I used to be an avid reader, both for knowledge/pleasure….since I’m a huge dork, those are pretty interchangeable for most subjects. But I mostly stopped reading when I left school, got married and started raising Brooke. Granted, a lot of things shifted around that time, but my cessation of learning was one of them.

Now that I’ve begun reading frequently again, I feel that I’m unable to acquire and retain information in the way I used to. I’ve had the ability for most of my life to just…well…remember most things. I hardly ever studied in school including college. I didn’t have a photographic memory by any means, but I would retain important bits that stuck out to me. But more so than basic information, I easily absorbed theories and concepts.

Now — not so much.

This is mainly a problem with my spiritual formation. I have a very hard time concentrating on, digging into, studying a specific theological concept. I feel unable to and uncomfortable ‘meditating on’ things the way I used to. I struggle to apply concepts to my life, to find points of reference or significance, and at times I struggle to recall certain ideas at all.

At least, in my personal study.

I’ve been finding more and more lately in our group that I remember things that I had since “forgotten” while we’re having our discussions. It’s as if i’m accessing what I’ve read and retained while I’m speaking with other people and haven’t figured out how to bring it back up when I’m by myself.

This is frustrating….but I’m not sure if this is entirely bad.

We’ve talked a good deal in our group about how God desires us to read and work out scriptures in a group setting. How personal reflection is important…but more important is to talk out and work out meanings of scriptures in a group.

How scriptures were written and disseminated with just such practices in mind. How most books (save a few) were written to GROUPS of people as opposed to individuals. That people were supposed to get together and figure out what it meant collectively. To really work out their faith collectively as opposed to by themselves.

Because of this, our faith and our growth in the knowledge of God is very much a ‘personal’ journey but it is by no means a ‘private’ one. It is very much so meant to be done in a corporate setting.

I’d like to think that I need to change the way that I “learn” to include this information. That I should not be so frustrated with this development. That I shouldn’t be so focused on returning to “the way I learn” as the way I remembered it 5-6 years ago.

Instead I should be embracing the method that God is allowing me to learn things through at this season of my life. That I shouldn’t be fighting a natural progression or change. That I should be glad that I’m able to relearn in a way that I am not necessarily comfortable or familiar with. Perhaps I’ll get more comfortable with it and less frustrated with time.

Or maybe my ripe old age is just catching up with me. I did just turn 27 after all.