Danny J Bixby

>I’ve come to a bit of a troubling problem the past few weeks. I feel that I have mostly forgotten how to learn.

I don’t mean that I think I know everything, or a lot, or that there are things that I do not know. That would be absurd. What I mean is that I seem to be having a difficult time retaining and recalling new information.

I’ve been reading a lot more in the past 7-8 months. And I’ve easily read more books in the past 2 months than I have in the past 5 years…..not counting this calendar year.

I used to be an avid reader, both for knowledge/pleasure….since I’m a huge dork, those are pretty interchangeable for most subjects. But I mostly stopped reading when I left school, got married and started raising Brooke. Granted, a lot of things shifted around that time, but my cessation of learning was one of them.

Now that I’ve begun reading frequently again, I feel that I’m unable to acquire and retain information in the way I used to. I’ve had the ability for most of my life to just…well…remember most things. I hardly ever studied in school including college. I didn’t have a photographic memory by any means, but I would retain important bits that stuck out to me. But more so than basic information, I easily absorbed theories and concepts.

Now — not so much.

This is mainly a problem with my spiritual formation. I have a very hard time concentrating on, digging into, studying a specific theological concept. I feel unable to and uncomfortable ‘meditating on’ things the way I used to. I struggle to apply concepts to my life, to find points of reference or significance, and at times I struggle to recall certain ideas at all.

At least, in my personal study.

I’ve been finding more and more lately in our group that I remember things that I had since “forgotten” while we’re having our discussions. It’s as if i’m accessing what I’ve read and retained while I’m speaking with other people and haven’t figured out how to bring it back up when I’m by myself.

This is frustrating….but I’m not sure if this is entirely bad.

We’ve talked a good deal in our group about how God desires us to read and work out scriptures in a group setting. How personal reflection is important…but more important is to talk out and work out meanings of scriptures in a group.

How scriptures were written and disseminated with just such practices in mind. How most books (save a few) were written to GROUPS of people as opposed to individuals. That people were supposed to get together and figure out what it meant collectively. To really work out their faith collectively as opposed to by themselves.

Because of this, our faith and our growth in the knowledge of God is very much a ‘personal’ journey but it is by no means a ‘private’ one. It is very much so meant to be done in a corporate setting.

I’d like to think that I need to change the way that I “learn” to include this information. That I should not be so frustrated with this development. That I shouldn’t be so focused on returning to “the way I learn” as the way I remembered it 5-6 years ago.

Instead I should be embracing the method that God is allowing me to learn things through at this season of my life. That I shouldn’t be fighting a natural progression or change. That I should be glad that I’m able to relearn in a way that I am not necessarily comfortable or familiar with. Perhaps I’ll get more comfortable with it and less frustrated with time.

Or maybe my ripe old age is just catching up with me. I did just turn 27 after all.

>I’m in the middle of reading a book titled unChristian: What a new generation really thinks about Christianity…and why it matters.

Long title, amazing book.

I try to not talk about or come to conclusions about books until I’ve finished reading them, but my mind is exploding with the information unChristian contains that I need to spill some of it out. I want to quote nearly everything in the book….it’s just full of incredible information.

This book sprouted out of a three year research project by the Barna Group and contains a lot of information of how Americans age 16-29 (at the time the info was gathered, 2004-2006) view Christianity, Christians, the Church, the Bible, faith, and God. It also contains contributions from prominent Christian leaders: Chuck Colson, Mike Foster, Rick Warren, Kevin Palau, Andy Stanley, John Stott, Brain McLaren and many (20+) others.

For purposes of simplicity, people were polled in two separate groups: Christians, and non-Christians. Non-Christians being active adherents to any type of faith structure other than Christianity including no faith structure at all.

In 1996 the Barna group released a report “Christianity has a Strong Positive Image Despite Fewer Active Participants.” Among non-Christians, 85% were favorable toward Christianity’s role in society. And the 16-29 age demographic correlated.

Ready for what it looks like now? A mere 10 years later among the 16-29 demographic?

16%

SIXTEEN PERCENT!!!11!!!ONE!

Even worse, when exchanging the word “Christianity” with the phrase “Born-again Christian” the number drops to 10%. And when exchanged for the word “Evangelical” it PLUMMETS to 3%.

Yeah. Three freaking percent of non-Christians age 16-29 have a “good impression” of Evangelical Christians. Compared to 49% who say they have a “bad impression” and 48% who have a “neutral impression.”

You know that 85% from 10 years ago from ages 16-29? It wasn’t good + neutral together. It was just “good.” Now, it is merely 16% among ages 16-29.

Why is this? Well, the book goes into very large and painful detail of what Christianity has become and how it is perceived. You can complain about people’s perceptions all you want, but at the end of the day their perceptions are how you are viewed.

The researches used 10 negative words/phrases (they also used 10 positive phrases…it’s not encouraging either) that people could use to describe a religious faith and asked people to indicate of they agreed (a lot or some) with the phrase being able to describe modern day Christianity:

Anti-homosexual – 91%
Judgmental – 87%
Hypocritical: Saying one thing, doing another – 85%
Too involved in politics – 75%
Out of touch with reality – 72%
Old Fashioned – 78%
Insensitive to others – 70%
Boring – 68%
Not accepting of other faiths – 64%
Confusing – 61%

Every one was nearly 2/3 affirmed as an effective phrase to describe present day Christianity.

This is disgusting. And although I knew already these things to be true, it hurts to read them. To read hard data about the disgusting job that we are doing as the Church. To read that 59% of people surveyed say their PERSONAL EXPERIENCES at churches influenced their views, and that 50% say that PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHRISTIANS are the most common way their views are shaped.

This is horribly damning evidence. It makes me sick and it makes me embarrassed to be counted among Christians.

It makes me want to do something about it. It makes me NEED to do something about it.

It makes me burn with a desire to show people that these perceptions are NOT what God intends. I don’t mean the perceptions are wrong….I believe that they’re right. I believe the best way to define/describe an institution is from the perspective of those outside of it. Anyone who involved in a group is far more likely to glaze over problems and inconsistencies, but it is those who are outside who give the best perspective. Their opinions are not warped by being a member of that which they’re criticizing. And I believe that the accuracy of the perceptions is the worst part.

We have failed to represent the grace that Jesus offers.

We have been poor representatives of a holy and loving God.

We bear responsibility for this problem.

We have to be the solution…

>I have been struggling to read Real Church by Larry Crabb over the past week. I didn’t really like this book. It was long, drawn out, pretty boring, and depressing.

Depressing in that I felt that I completely understood the author and what he was trying to say, and that I felt pity for him as he was missing his own point.

Larry Crabb is a very educated teacher/writer. And he is struggling, as many do, with the reality of becoming disinterested and disenchanted with church. I feel for him, I know the struggle, I’ve shared the struggle.

But his is more complicated.

He is so trapped in his 50+ years of conservative/evangelical Christianity with all of its terms/theologies/trappings that he is completely missing his own point.

He passionately writes about his struggles and desires with finding a church that he feels really ‘gets it.’ And then finds ways to discredit every church environment he has come across in his lifetime.

Unfortunately, I believe one of those is exactly what he is looking for.

He deals a lot with the emergent/missional church and quite readily admits that he does not fully understand it, and is at the same time afraid of it. He admits he has selfish motives about it, but they exist nonetheless. He is so focused on the views of his own church experiences as a conservative/evangelical that a part of him can not look at the missional church as anything but a new form of “social gospel.”

This understanding is fundamentally flawed.

Larry Crabb talks at great length about the problems that he sees in the missional church not in what he actually experiences/witnessees/hears, but what he fears COULD happen or what he fears COULD be the motives of those involved in the movement.

The full title is Real Church: Does it Exist? Can I find it?

Yes it does exist. Yes he can find it. He did. And he immediately wrote it off. Many are trapped by a conservative/evangelical viewpoint that fears anything resembling a ‘social gospel.’ He is most certainly NOT alone in his views. He speaks for a great many who are stuck in a church they don’t want to be in and don’t feel they can leave because they are so paralyzed by fear of more liberal churches/movements that seem to be brimming with life in them…but because of what they ‘know’ there MUST be something wrong with it!

And that is depressing.

>What does God expect of us? That is the central question resonating throughout Richard Stearns’ book The Hole in our Gospel. Personally, I believe the answer to this question can be overwhelming at times, as does the author, but he presents his case with amazing simplicity and a level of personal conviction that you can feel coming at you as you read his words. This book is filled with the pain and suffering that most of us living privileged lives in America can’t fully understand. However, Stearns is able to do something very powerful with his story and the information he has to present, he finds a way to make it personal. Stearns is the former CEO of Parker Brothers and Lenox Tableware Co, who left his “American Dream” at Lenox to reluctantly become the President of the US branch of the largest charity organization on the planet, World Vision. For him, this is very personal. For us, it should be as well.

The prevalent view of modern Christianity is that it is a personal relationship between “ME” and God. Examined further, as Stearns does, this view is exposed as surprisingly a new development in Christianity not even 100 years old; but more importantly it is flawed, unbiblical, selfish and most certainly creates a gaping hole in the Gospel, ourselves and the world. Not content to merely shed light on the problem, Stearns offers solutions to fill this hole; starting with the simple prayer made famous by the founder of World Vision, Bob Pierce, “Lord, allow my heart to be broken by the things that break your heart.”

Though some would be quick to write this off as just some “social gospel” Stearns painstakingly does not allow for that conclusion to be made. The Hole in our Gospel is full of sound biblical doctrine applied to our modern world, Church, and personal lives. This book is not some TV ad about ‘the starving children in the world.’ It is an incredibly challenging argument against what modern Christianity has become, and a plea to help bring it back to what Jesus and the early Church genuinely preached and lived. Everyone should read this book. Everyone.

>I’m on vacation. Two weeks off while my parents are in town, though they are currently in Chicago until Friday. So it’s been just Brooke and me for yesterday and today. We were at Jump Mania today for three hours and I brought a book with me, The Hole in our Gospel by Richard Stearns. This is one of the most powerful, personally convicting, and difficult books that I’ve read in a long time. I can’t imagine how awkward and uncomfortable I looked while reading this in a public place…

Everyone should read this book. Everyone.

I’ll be writing a review of it in a few days for a program I’ve enrolled in, but this excerpt will have to do for now. It is the result of the author’s desire to write a Revelation style letter to the “Church in America” using pre-existing scriptural verses….and he makes special note of how he’s knowingly destroying every rule of biblical exegesis, and thinks you need to get over it. One line in it sent a special shiver at me, if you’ve come to NPC in the past month you’ll immediately recognize it:

To the angel of the Church in America write:

These are the words of the One who holds the seven stars and walks among the golden lamp stands. I know your deeds. You live in luxury and self-indulgence, and you have forsaken your first love. I hold this against you. Woe to those of you who add house to house and join field to field till no space is left. Surely the great houses will become desolate, the fine mansions left without occupants.

Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes.

Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded your wealth in the last days. You say, “I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.” Yet it is those who are poor in the eyes of the world that are rich in faith. I have chosen them to inherit the kingdom I have promised to those who love Me. Therefore, do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Seek first My kingdom and My righteousness, and all these other things will be given to you as well. Remember, even I, the Lord Jesus Christ, though I was rich, for your sakes became poor, so that you, through My poverty, might become rich.

Why do you call Me, “Lord, Lord,” but do not do what I say? Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says, for whoever obeys My commands–that is the one who loves Me.

What does the Lord require of you, you ask? To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. In fact, the entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

There will always be poor people in the land. I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in the land. Defend the cause of the weak and the fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.

Now let’s talk about fasting. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high. Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable tot he Lord? No, this is the fast that I have chose: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to see the oppressed free and break every yoke. It is to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter–when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?

Even now, return to Me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and He relents from sending calamity.

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Why spend money on what is not bread and labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to Me and eat what is good, and your soul will delight int he richest of fare. Then you will call, and I will answer; you will cry for help and I will say, “Here am I.” If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and the malicious talk, and if you spend yourself in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become as the noonday. I will guide you always; I will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Therefore, My dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

-Jesus

P.S. I am coming soon! My reward is with Me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.